I had made up my mind weeks ago to allow this anniversary of 9/11 pass by quietly without trying to put into words how I might be feeling today.
I was a bit unprepared, I think, for exactly how I do feel today.
Surprisingly - sadder than I expected with this wild commotion of feelings rolling around in my heart and in my mind. And yes, still a bit of anger.
I have often used words to ease the feelings. But I'm afraid if I start writing about these feelings, I'll write forever. Ramblings that won't make any sense and would eventually come to mean nothing because I'm just not able to find and form the words I need for this. The feelings will still be the same feelings, momentarily eased but still living deep in my heart and in my mind to resurface. Over and over they'll resurface. I may be able to tuck them away, but only for awhile. They'll live with me till the day I die.
Often during times of sadness I turn to music. There are two songs connected in my heart and in my mind on this day. I would like to think that these two men, given an opportunity, could have become friends. Though their lifestyles may be miles apart, their hearts seem, to me, to live in a similar place.
And often I turn to images.
Words, images, and music. Let them ease our hearts and minds.